


Two's Company.

by belfastcity



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Based on a Tumblr Post, Bottom Louis, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Spanking, Top Harry, and as always, but all my fics end up getting a little kinky, im still so shit at tags, maybe some, maybe.. some.. m..preg...later on.., okay yes spanking, probably, so im gonna say, sorry - Freeform, there's nothing going on right now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 08:00:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4383722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belfastcity/pseuds/belfastcity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where a lonely Louis, manages to fall for an average Harry and together they realise that two really is company.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two's Company.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you tumblr for this plot, I owe you.

“Mum,” Louis snorts as he sets his mother on speaker, “There is absolutely no rush to find the right guy. I’ve got time.”

“Oh honey.. Oh sweetie..” Johannah laughs, “Don’t tell me, tell your fallopian tubes!”

Twisting his face up at his phone, Louis grabs a knife and cuts his peanut butter sandwich in half, taking a bite and waiting for his mother to continue her speech.

“Listen, love, I have your best interests at heart. I was going through your facebook the morning and I’m telling you now, you are never going to find the perfect guy with that awful profile picture of yours.” Louis’ mother frowns, picking the phone up and whispering into the microphone, “But I’m sure your sister could photoshop it for you.”

“I’m hanging up now, mum.” Louis rolls his eyes, setting his sandwich down and reaching for his phone.

“Don’t forget about the reunion, lo-” She doesn’t get to finish her sentence, being that Louis quickly taps the “ _ **END CALL**_ ” button.

You see, Louis’ has trouble dating since he was a wee tot. When he was 5, his mother decided to take him swimming with his neighbour in hopes of them becoming best friends and eventually, falling in love.

..Unfortunately, that didn’t work out because Louis was caught trying on the little girls extra pairs of panties.

By the girls’ father.

They threatened to sue.

The Tomlinson’s were forced to move.

That did not crush Johannah’s hopes, though. The woman was absolutely obsessed with unrealistic idea of a fairytale relationship that ended with her son slipping a glass slipper onto his princess’ foot.. but that all ended when she realised, before Louis or anyone else did, that her son was in fact gay.

****  
  
  


“Mum.”14 year old Louis calls, stomping into Johannah’s room and slamming the door closed, waking her from her peaceful slumber. “I saw a penis today. I am gay.”

“Oh honey.. Oh sweetie..” Johannah laughs, “I know.”

Louis’ eyes widen comically as he screeches so loud he could have possibly woken the whole entire neighbourhood up. “YOU _KNEW_ AND DIDN’T TELL _ME_?!”

“Were you really expecting me to tell you that you were gay before you even knew yourself?” Johannah snorts.

Louis dismisses her with a wave of his hand, narrowing his eyes into literal slits. “How did you know? Was it obvious? Do you think anyone else knows?”

“Mama knows best, sweetheart. You cannot tell if someone is gay by just looking at them, my gorgeous boy, I’m sure no one else knows.” She smiles, opening her arms up to him. “Also, how did you end up looking at a penis?”

“I’ll tell you when I’m 20.”

Sure enough, when Louis turned 20, he told his mother that he had asked his best friend, Niall Horan, to show him his penis to make sure he wasn’t gay.

That turned out well.

Louis rolls his eyes at the memory, grabbing his phone and quickly dialling a car rental service, tapping his fingers on the counter as he waits.

“Enterprise Rent-A-Car, how may I help you?”

“Quick question, so, when I rent a car.. You all will pick me up?”  Louis asks, biting his lip.

“Yep! Wherever and whenever you need us.” The man assures, a smile evident in his voice.

“Good.”

****  
  


Louis has been wandering around this family reunion for hours, pretending to know people he’s never met a day in his life.

He’s sure that he’s wandered past the table of food at least five times, filling his plate and even emptying the candy bags into his pants, hoping to god his snickers doesn’t melt.

“Boy, these deviled eggs are sure going fast, yeah?” Louis says in a desperate attempt to strike up a conversation with his mother before picking one up and biting into it.

“You know who else’s eggs are going fast?” She says, cutting into her cake with a flimsy plastic fork.

“Mum, please.” Louis places a hand on his hip, egg still in hand.

Johannah throws her hand up in surrender, walking over to a couple that Louis thinks are his aunt and uncle.

“Louis!” someone he recognises as his cousin, Chelsea and her boyfriend Trevor, calls. “Look! We’re getting married!”

She holds up her hand and let’s Louis take a look at her expensive looking ring as she attaches herself to her boyf- _fiance’s_ side.

“Um.. It’s November 11th-”

“Got it.” Louis nods.

“And there’ll be plenty of advance notice just in case you’d like to, I don’t know.. Bring a date, maybe?” She grins.

“Yeah, yeah.” Louis lifts his hand, scratching the back of his neck. “Just text me everything! I think I hear my mum calling me so I’ve gotta.. go. See you soon.”

Louis runs off without even thinking of giving her his number.

He manages to make it halfway across the field before he’s stopped by his nan who happened to be holding an iPhone bigger than her whole hand.

“Hey, Lou!” She calls. “I want to show you something cool. Have you heard of the swiping?”

“Uhh..”

“Swipe left.. Swipe right.. Swipe left.. Swipe left.. Swipe l- ooh! He’s a real cutie.” She grins, patting his back.

“Nan, that’s a woman. And she’s got to be about seven times my age.” Louis squints. “She’s 57!”

“A real cougar then, innit?” His nan says, “Look at that!”

“I’m gay.” Louis deadpans as he already begins walking off. “And she’s _50 fucking 7_.

“Louis!” His mum calls after him, a baby in her arms.

“No, no, no, no.” Louis grumbles to himself, speed walking to the left. “Do not make direct eye contact and walk in the opposite direction, she’s sure to-”

“Look at it!!!” His mum shows up in front of him, grinning from ear to ear.

“How did yo-”

Johannah places the baby into Louis’ hands and he takes one look at it from arms length and smiles. “I’m good thanks.”

Louis’ cousin show’s up beside him with her ring and Louis forces a smile, sort of glad she showed up so that he can give this goddamn baby back.

“Here m-” When he turns around, his mother is gone, leaving him with the child. The stinky child.

Shoving her hand into his face, Chelsea squeaks and bounces up and down. “You can touch it, it’s okay.”

“I’m kind of occupied, plus, I’d rather no-”

“Real gold!” Trevor butts in.

“1990’s.” Chelsea smiles, cooing softly.

Louis pretends to give a surprised gasp, he’s got this.. he studied acting all throughout high-school. “It’s beautiful, woah!”

The baby begins to wail, just then, and Louis turns around, holding it out in his arms. “Alright, _who’s baby is this_?”

His mother reappears, scooping the baby up before mumbling into her ears and making little faces at it.

To Louis, his mother looked like a psychopath but to the baby, his mother was the best thing since sliced bread.

“I guess my acting skills aren’t that great then.” Louis grunts.

Louis’ nan decides to show up again right at that moment with her phone, swiping quickly. “Swipe, swipe, swipe, swipity, swipe swipe. Oooh, look at her! She’s only 42.”

“I’m gay, grandma.” Louis says, batting his mother’s hands away when she grabs his shoulders, baby no longer in hand, and tells him to stand up a little straighter.

“You know my buddy, Owen?” Trevor says.

“Yeah! With the huge mole on his right cheek.” Louis nods with a smile.

“Yes, him! The rich one!” Chelsea holds a finger to her cheek and speaks in a mock male voice. “He’s all like ‘Ohh, I’m a doctor. I’m rich and single!’”

“He doesn’t have a date either, you now.” Trevor interlocks his fingers with Chelsea’s.

“Nice bu-”

“We’re about to go change Melody’s diaper, you’re welcome to come if you’d like. One day you’ll have to do this as well and it never hurts to practice.” His mum grins, grabbing her hand.

Louis is about to kindly reject his mother’s offer before he turns around and see’s a man pulling up to the reunion in a matte black range rover.

“Well, looks like my boyfriends here!” He claps his hands together before wiping them on his jeans.

Everyone stops what they’re doing and turns to see this man, some people squinting a bit to make sure he’s real.

“Ah.” His mother says, grinning from ear to ear.

_Louis thinks she resembles the grinch when he stole Christmas_.

“Hi, I’m Harry from Enterprise.” The man greets himself and Louis grabs the hand he’s extended to his mum, quickly wrapping it around his shoulders and patting his chest.

He smells really, _really_ good.

Louis gives a nervous laugh, snuggling further into this new very handsome, very good smelling man. “Wow, look at the time! Harry and I can’t stay, unfortunately. Just wanted everyone to know so they can.. stop asking me when I’m going to find a nice man.”

Johannah eyes the man, nodding slowly.

Harry soon catches on, smiling in agreement with Louis.

“Soo, _boyfriend_ , lets go!” Louis gives another pat to his chest, quickly trying to scurry away.

****  
  


“It was so nice to finally meet you all. Yes, let’s go..” Harry begins walking away, looking over his shoulder and giving a thumbs up to Louis’ parents. “..Sweetie!”

“That’s a nice suit.” Louis’ father says to Johannah. “I wonder what it’s made out of.”

“Husband material.” Johannah says, looking as though she’s just won the lottery.

-

“Sorry about that.. Harry.” Louis scratches the back of his neck, smiling sheepishly.

“It happens more than you think.” Harry grins.

“Yeah, it’s just like ahh! family, y’know?” Louis says, only making the situation more awkward.

“I know right!” Harry says, switching on the AC.

“Your family is like that too?!” Louis is absolutely shell shocked, how much of a coincidence is thi-

“Actually, no.” Harry snorts. “Where to?”

“Anywhere but back there.”

**  
“ _How about we go on an actual date_?” **


End file.
